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”“Well,” she said, considering me. “For example, did shehave better legs than me?”“Hell no,” I said honestly.“Was she more attractive than me?”“No way.”“Well, did she have a better body than me?”“I wouldn’t think so.”“You wouldn’t think so. But you gave her $500. Wouldyou give me $500 to take off my clothes?”“Come on, Colleen. Give me a break.”“No, seriously.”“The question would never come up.”“I’m bringing it up, Vince. Would you pay me $500 tostrip?”I shuffled uncomfortably. “You’re not a stripper.”“But if I decided to turn my hand to it, would you payme $500?”I waved my hand in a gesture of peace and understand-ing. “I guess so.”She leant towards me slightly. “Okay,” she said. “I’lldo it. Here and now. Give me $500.”I laughed. “We. And then there was the big one, could we put it all back together? And I hadn't the faintest idea about that one. My inclination was to say No. But was that good sense or cowardice? I didn't know the answer to that either.I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I guess physical exhaustion has something in its favour.I woke up the next morning to a little routine that I have practiced so often in my life. I sit on the edge of the bed, and I promise: Never Again. Usually it is never to drink that much again, occasionally it has been never to treat some woman that badly again, this time it was never ever to cycle that far again without getting myself fully fit first.My legs ached, my back ached, but far more important than that was that my arse was so bloody sore. At the end of a hot shower, which eased my muscles but stung my butt, I could stand upright and even walk at a world shattering pace of about ten miles per century, but my arse just hurt. Eventually I found a half used.
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